Monday, September 26, 2011

HOW DOGMATIC IS SCRIPTURE ABOUT MARRIAGE??????

 

Last weekend my grandson was married in a beautiful ceremony, family and friends in attendance to wish the couple God’s blessing. The bride was absolutely stunning and of course, my grandson the groom was dashing and handsome. The reception was fun and a good time was had by all.

So…….what is my problem? Let me first say my thots and concerns are not necessarily directed at the newly-weds, but some thots can apply, which one’s I won’t tell, lol. Naturally we begin with qualifications according to the Word. God’s expressed instruction is both must be His, Amos 3:3 says,”can two walk together unless they be   agreed?” 2 Cor 6:14 is equally good, “be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” It seems to me that the only true requirement is that both be true believers, primarily because if God is in the union, He can work with them in their difficulties…if they will let them.

The Jews have a few traditions that go back centuries and I think are good ones. The Rapture is a picture of the completion of preparation for the marriage…the marriage of Christ and His church, all the elements are there. Let me explain. In tradition, the parents made the “match” based on compatibility of individuals and families. Usually they knew each other well, lived close to each other so a marriage was “arranged” called a betrothal. This most times was when the couple was very young. Then each party went home to prepare for the marriage. The boy and his dad and brothers built a home on the back part of dad’s land. The girl and her mom and sisters began making the trousseau, the clothing the bride would need plus all the household items she would use to make a home. When the parents thot the time right, the boy and his dad and brothers came to collect the bride and invite her family to come and witness the wedding. After the ceremony, the newlyweds went to their own home, he was instructed to stay at home for one year, he did not work the fields, go to war, he stayed with his bride “to comfort her…? why? Because she was no longer as closely connected to her mother and sisters and maybe girlfriends. They were both to stay in their home, learn about each other…the “leave and cleave” aspect. And, a good one at that! ` They were to learn how to depend on each other and not other family members because they were now their own family unit. This ‘learning” process was to happen before a baby came. Sounds pretty good doesn’t it?

Today we see none of this, our culture is such that each one does what seems right to them…there is no getting to know each other, no learning to compromise and no “setting up’ of the male to become the head of the household. And that is God’s intent from Eden! And I believe our divorce rate proves once again, God knows best.

For 30 years I have taught and counseled prisoners for the Chaplains office. My main class is always a well attended one because the men learn from each other that if they attend and take part, they will learn a lot about themselves, life and marriage. We have gotten into many good discussions over the years, mainly because most of them have no idea what God intended for a couple. All they knew was, if you saw someone you liked, you hopped in the sack with her asap, and if it went anywhere, so be it. Most had multiple children by multiple women, no sense of family, no idea how to be  husband or dad…they knew how to “father” but being a dad…that’s another story!I never met one that knew the significance of the father of the bride, putting the hand of his daughter, his little girl that he probably loved more than anything in life, into the hand of this “boy” and saying to the question, “who gives this woman to be married to this man,” I do…not realizing that dad was transferring his care and protection of his daughter to this “boy.” Many dad’s don’t realize the significance either, and that’s a pity because it is important and significant. God gave headship/authority to Adam/men. He had his reasons…the woman was led astray by the evil one, the man sinned with open eyes. God wanted the woman protected. He made the man more logical and less emotional than the woman. He had a purpose for that, she would be the nurturer and comforter, and He made her that way on purpose, Each had a role to play to create a harmonious home for the children to grow up in…look at what we have done to it. Girls who convince their intended husband to stay close to her family are walking a very dangerous path. Number one they are out of God’s order…both of them, since he should know better and stand his ground. But many are afraid of looking the one they love, so they compromise. Number two, she will NOT leave and cleave, she will turn to her mother and sisters whenever she has a disagreement with her new partner. Bad deal…a barrier will arise that MAY cause him to engage in thot and activity he should not even think about because he feels betrayed and rejected. You can use your imagination as to what sort of things I am referring to.

You may believe I am being alittle overboard here…but let me say again, I have heard this exact scenario time and time again. It causes years of pain and suffering, the children suffer as well…because you cannot break God’s order of things and expect them to go well. Yes, He will be there to help you but you have greatly handicapped Him by poor choices. Please, if you are thinking of marriage, pray on these things and do as God says, you will never be sorry you obeyed Him!

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